Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My Favorite Quotes

The last couple weeks have been ridiculously busy with school starting again. I moved back up to Lawrence on the 15th and I feel like I haven't stopped since! Not only are my classes a little overwhelming this semester, but I'm also now 2 hours away from home, David, and all of our wedding vendors. I've only had 4 days of classes, and I'm already ready for the semester to be over. I've just been praying that being busy will make it go by quickly. Anyway, all that to say I'm sorry if I'm not posting as often as usual - I'm trying to get into the swing of things still and am hoping things will slow down a little!

I've always loved quotes and song lyrics. Certain ones are able to make me cry every time I read/hear them. So, it's no surprise, that I've been bookmarking quotes and readings since before we got engaged. One I know we'll use for sure is Union by Robert Fulghum:

"You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.
For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife."

I can't remember where I first read it, but I remember tears streaming down my face. I love it because it's so accurate, especially having been dating for almost 6 and a half years by the time we get married. There were countless times before we were officially engaged that we talked about, "When we're finally married we'll..." or "Our kids will..." It didn't take a ring on my finger to realize that we would be together forever. There was never and still isn't any question in my mind.

Another reading I love is The Art of a Good Marriage by Wilfred Arlan Peterson:

"Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the Art of Marriage: The little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ’I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry.It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner."

A third reading is Love by Roy Croft:

"I love you, not only for what you are,
But for what I am when I am with you.
I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself,
But for what you are making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out;
I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart
And passing over all the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out into the light
All the beautiful belongings that no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you because you are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern, but a temple;
Out of the works of my every day
Not a reproach, but a song."

Our Christian faith is a big part of our lives and our relationship, so we'll be using a few Biblical readings as well. (And I'm sure our officiant will include Scripture in his message - More on him soon!) 1 Corinthians 13 is probably my favorite book of the entire Bible, so while it's incredibly common, I still want to use it:

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails ."

I definitely also want to use Ruth 1:16-17. I'm going to incorporate it into our unity candle (post coming soon!) but I love it too much not to have it read as well. I love the honesty of it - I think so many people today go into marriage thinking that divorce is always an option. Although this verse is actually Ruth talking to her mother-in-law, I think it applies to husbands and wives as well. Marriage is meant to be forever:

"Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."

I'm really interested in hand ceremonies as well, and this text is my favorite of all of the ones I've found:

"These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

Our prayer for you today is that both of you will use these hands to build a marriage where all your dreams come true.”

I have no idea which ones we'll use yet, and who will be reading them, but at least I've got plenty of ideas!

Do quotes ressonate with you? How many are you incorporating into your ceremony?


  1. I love Ruth, too! I know we're using it, especially since I'll be following him wherever he goes for his job.

  2. That definitely makes it meaningful! I just can't decide if I just want to use it on our unity candle or if we'll have someone read it as well!

  3. I plan on using the same (though slightly altered) script for our hand ceremony! I love it!


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