Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Guest Post: Em from Burning River Bride

I have some of my favorite fabulous bloggers lined up to guest post while I'm gone this week, so make sure to give each of them a warm welcome! The first is Em - She's one of my 'blog friends' that I talk to almost every day and have really gotten to know over the last few months. She's hilarious and one of the nicest girls ever, so if you're not already following her, you should be! Enjoy!
Hello, Lucky in Love readers! My name is Emily (but you can call me Em) and I write over at Burning River Bride. I'm a 24 year old newlywed (my wedding was May 22) and I'm so excited to guest post for Laura! She and I have become great Internet friends over the past few months. I know she was a beautiful bride (come on, have you SEEN this gorgeous gal?) and I can't wait to hear all about her wedding day.

Laura and I are both relatively "young" brides (although I do have about 3 years on her). I wouldn't change getting married at the age I am now, and I'm sure Laura wouldn't either, but that doesn't mean it isn't without certain challenges.

The issue: Haters. Lots of 'em And they come in all forms: well-meaning adults, not-so-well-meaning adults, jealous girlfriends, immature boys, complete strangers...the list goes on and on. It's frustrating but it's inevitable.

How to deal: Confidence. If you show that you *know* you're doing the right thing they have a baseless argument. While being nervous is expected (and totally FINE), it's also a sign to those "well-meaning adults" that you're not ready. Don't let them see you sweat!

The issue: Being a fairly young bride also means you probably don't have many people in your inner circle who relate to what you're going through. Sure, the wedding blog world is filled with brides who are happy to listen to your ideas/successes/failures/vents/etc, but sometimes you just want to talk to some one who actually *knows* you. There's nothing like talking to some one who gets you, the real you (not the wedding blog you). 

How to deal: Luckily, chances are you have at least one person you can turn to when you're in need. Make sure this person knows how important they are to you and how you'll need to lean on them during both the good and the bad parts of wedding planning.

The issue: Clueless bridal party members. Now, please don't interpret my use of the word clueless as something negative. Let me explain: out of my six bridesmaids only two of them had been in a wedding during their adult life (it doesn't count if they've been a flower girl, greeter, etc). Not that this is a bad thing or at all their fault, so to speak. But it can definitely be frustrating. Many of them legitimately didn't really know what to do. Being a member of the bridal party involves more than whooping it up at the bachelorette party and putting on a pretty dress for the wedding.

"Clueless" manifested itself in a few ways during my wedding planning. These included not understanding the importance of RSVPing ("You mean WE have to RSVP, TOO?!") and confusion about our wedding photographers' style ("You mean we have to ::gulp:: pose?!"), to name a few.

**Please note: My husband is 4 years older than me, so most of his groomsmen pretty much knew what was going on, but they're boys so I didn't have high expectations for them either way.

How to deal: Spell out exactly what you need them to do and do it early and often. The last thing you need in the weeks and days leading up to your wedding are your bridesmaids asking you seemingly "duh" questions. It's not that their questions aren't valid, it's that you just won't have the time or the energy to answer them 4, 5, or 6 times.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you like what you see, please stop on over to Burning River Bride where I'll soon be recapping our honeymoon and wedding! And if you just can't get enough, follow me on Twitter @Em219. Thanks for having me, Laura!


  1. Em,

    Thats great advice! I know Laura would definitely agree with you on everything because it all happened to her too! I'm sure she's filled you in on that!

  2. Great advice, Em!! I think I have a few years on both you and Laura, but this advice can ring true in certain situations for any bride, me thinks.

  3. SO TRUE about clueless bridesmaids. I only had ONE who was in a wedding, and she had only been MOH at her sister's. I think sisterly is different because sisters TELL each other what to do, and you act differently with non-sister BM's. It was a little bit of a mess for a while...

  4. Unfortunately, this problem is not limited to "young" bridesmaids! Laura had a couple of fantastic friends her age who were eager and willing to help with anything wedding related. She knew she could count on SC for anything! Out of 3 who didn't participate in helping with any activities, 2 were her sisters, each over 30. They both had extenuating circumstances, but people need to JUST SAY NO if they really can't bear the responsibilities of being an attendant! (Yes, they are all my daughters, but I'm still disappointed!)

  5. Haha wow...I'm just getting around to reading and commenting on my guest post. I SUCK. Thanks for asking me to write for you!!


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