Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Holiday Stress

I have to start by saying I love the holidays. And I am SO thankful that our families get along so well and that his family welcomes me with open arms (and really wants me to be at all of their get togethers), just like my family does with him. However, it's usually not very easy to please everyone. We're both incredibly close to our moms, and it's always hard to choose when/how we'll spend time with each of our families. It seems like someone's feelings always end up being hurt.

Thanksgiving 2007 - David with some of the guys on my mom's side

Since I'm one of 6 kids (4 of us who are engaged/married/have kids), it's already pretty difficult to coordinate with everyone's schedules. My family also usually gets together in Lawrence or KC (I'm at school in Lawrence) which is 2-3 hours away from Wichita, where our parents live. David's family is trying to coordinate with almost as many people and always has their get togethers in Wichita. There's really no way for us to be there for everything with either of our families, which is hard.

Christmas 2008 with David's brother and SIL

Like I said, I'm still incredibly grateful that this is the reason for our stress over the holidays rather than one of our families being hateful or unwelcoming. I know so many brides have future in-laws that are terrible to deal with, and I can't imagine how frustrating that must be. I absolutely love David's family, and I know my family adores him. (He was reffing in Phoenix this weekend and my aunt, uncle, and uncle's son went out of their way to pick him up and take him to dinner!) It makes me so happy that he fits in so perfectly with our family and that everyone looks forward to seeing him at our holiday gatherings.

Christmas 2008 with all of David's siblings (and SIL)

It's never easy knowing we're hurting either of our families, though. I know it will only get harder when we have kids of our own, which I'm not looking forward to. I'm just hoping we'll have a big enough house that we can host everyone and make them come to us!

I'm definitely looking forward to Thanksgiving and a break from school, but it won't be the relaxing break I was hoping for. David will come up here with my parents on either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, and we'll spend some time with all my family that will be in town. Then we'll drive to Wichita on Thursday morning to go to his family's dinner and will go shopping Friday morning there. After brunch with his immediate family, we'll head back up to KC on Friday early afternoon for my family's dinner. And then I think we'll probably just stay up here for the rest of the break, even though I was really looking forward to some time at home. I still don't think we're pleasing everyone, but it's the best we can do.

Are you dealing with some holiday stress? Do you feel like you're ever able to please everyone with what you decide or have you given up on trying?


  1. I can't make it to Thanksgiving (or Xmas) in NJ with my family because of budget this year :( And of course, can't take the time up- saving it for the honeymoon! I will miss them. I wish it wasn't as complicated... that is the one thing that STINKS!

    ps David's bro in the first pic of them with you and FSIL... they look SO alike!!!!

  2. We're switching things up and seeing my fiance's extended family, uncle/aunt/grandpa and another aunt in Ohio this Thanksgiving and for Christmas we'll spend it with my family. My fiance's parents are missionaries in east asia so they wont be with us this year for the holidays... nonetheless, we're still looking forward to the holidays!

  3. Oh the holidays. We're going back to VA for Thanksgiving and then my parents are coming here for Christmsa this year. Sadly, despite our trip back, the hubby's mom isn't speaking to us so we won't be seeing her at all this holiday season which is bittersweet for us. The one thing we've learned after 4 years of this...you can't please everyone so you have to make sure you please yourselves :)

  4. We are splitting up this holiday season since neither of us gets to see our families often enough. We thought it would be unfair to them to pick one over the other. It's almost impossible to keep everyone happy I think

  5. I was thinking today how lucky I am that I'm going to marry into such a welcoming and wonderful family. It for sure gives you something to be thankful for around this time of year. :) Since our siblings have kids and we don't, we're okay with the fact that the grandkids have priority. We figure (and cross our fingers) that when we have kids our families will be more flexible with our schedules and location.

  6. @ Miss Pug - I know! It's crazy how much they look alike and how their younger siblings look nothing like them (as you can see in the last picture) - They both have blonde/light brown hair and blue eyes!

  7. @ Nicole-Lynn - That is SO cool that your parents are missionaries. I'm sure it's hard not being with them for the holidays, though. I'd loove to do a short-term missions trip to Africa someday!


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