Sunday, November 15, 2009

It Feels Like Home to Me..

I hate leaving to drive back to school. I've told myself for the last almost 3 years that it will eventually get easier, but I decided tonight that leaving the place and people that I love will never get easier. I know lots of girls have been/are currently in a long distance relationship. And I know they know exactly what I mean when I talk about that feeling you have as you drive away from the person who makes you whole. It's so lonely, disappointing, frustrating, and painful.

I love just being with David. I look forward to weekends when I'll see him more than just about anything else. Everything just feels right when we're together - Running errands together, going to church, going out to eat with my family, taking Sunday afternoon naps, everything. Being with him just feels like home.

I just can't bring myself to call my house at school 'home' - It will never feel the same as my hometown, where my parents still live in the house I grew up in, where David lives, where we met and fell in love, where we'll live when we're married, etc. It's so frustrating to look forward to weekends at home for so long and then they're over before I know it - How does time move so much faster when you want nothing more than for it to slow down? And then I have a lonely 2 hour drive ahead of me to go back to school, studying, and countless other activities to keep my mind off how much I miss my other half.

I'm so excited to know I only have 6 more months of this, but at the same time it seems like it's getting harder and harder to leave each time. David has already said he thinks me leaving to go back to school after Christmas break will be the hardest time yet. I don't even want to think about it. I cannot WAIT until we're married and we'll not only be in the same town, we'll finally be living together! I know we'll look back on this time as a period of growth and a time when we both learned a lot about ourselves and each other, but right now it just plain sucks.

Do those of you in LDRs feel the same way? Has it gotten harder as the wedding approaches? I think we need to form a support group or something! :)

*PS - Sorry this post was so depressing! I'll have updates on our new fur baby tomorrow which is a MUCH happier subject!


  1. I hear you girl! People always assumed that because we did it for so long it was fine, or easy. And it wasn't. You are right, it just seems to get harder as time goes by.
    No need to apologize for the post! Feel free to vent. Hope our unofficial support group helps!

  2. I just made the 1.5 hour drive back to school tonight!! I'm like you, and I NEVER call my apartment here home even though I've lived the same one for three years. I just can't do it. Home will always be home to me, although Mr. T isn't even there anymore, but in MN instead.
    It has definitely gotten harder, and I miss him even more. He won't even Skype me anymore because it makes him miss me even more =[
    It sucks, and it will probably suck even more that you have a whole semester left after this. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't graduating in December.
    But you have to just keep going, and eventually it will be over!

  3. you are going to miss school once its me! i know its hard, but try to enjoy your time there too-go out and have fun!

  4. Distance is ALWAYS hard. We did an 8000 mile romance at 1 point and that totally sucked. Being married and hanging at home totally rocks though so hang in there. :)

  5. I hear you, it's so hard and it does get harder! Think about what an amazing first year of marriage you all are going to have, because you'll be treasuring each other's presence so much!

  6. I know this post is a bit old, so you may not see this, but I figured I should chime in. My David and I spent the last 2 1/2 years long distance pretty much identical to you - I went to school somewhere else and visited him in my hometown where he, my family, and our future selves live. It was definitely hard each time, and I love that I'm finally living in the same town as him. What you said about him feeling like "home" is the exact sentiment we went through.

    One thing I wasn't prepared for, however, is how much I actually miss my college town, home, and friends when all is said and done. Just try your best to appreciate the time you have where you are and know that your time being with your guy for good will come sooner than you think.


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