I hate leaving to drive back to school. I've told myself for the last almost 3 years that it will eventually get easier, but I decided tonight that leaving the place and people that I love will never get easier. I know lots of girls have been/are currently in a long distance relationship. And I know they know exactly what I mean when I talk about that feeling you have as you drive away from the person who makes you whole. It's so lonely, disappointing, frustrating, and painful.
I love just being with David. I look forward to weekends when I'll see him more than just about anything else. Everything just feels right when we're together - Running errands together, going to church, going out to eat with my family, taking Sunday afternoon naps, everything. Being with him just feels like home.
I just can't bring myself to call my house at school 'home' - It will never feel the same as my hometown, where my parents still live in the house I grew up in, where David lives, where we met and fell in love, where we'll live when we're married, etc. It's so frustrating to look forward to weekends at home for so long and then they're over before I know it - How does time move so much faster when you want nothing more than for it to slow down? And then I have a lonely 2 hour drive ahead of me to go back to school, studying, and countless other activities to keep my mind off how much I miss my other half.
I'm so excited to know I only have 6 more months of this, but at the same time it seems like it's getting harder and harder to leave each time. David has already said he thinks me leaving to go back to school after Christmas break will be the hardest time yet. I don't even want to think about it. I cannot WAIT until we're married and we'll not only be in the same town, we'll finally be living together! I know we'll look back on this time as a period of growth and a time when we both learned a lot about ourselves and each other, but right now it just plain sucks.
Do those of you in LDRs feel the same way? Has it gotten harder as the wedding approaches? I think we need to form a support group or something! :)
*PS - Sorry this post was so depressing! I'll have updates on our new fur baby tomorrow which is a MUCH happier subject!