Friday, October 30, 2009

Long Distance Relationships Suck.

You know how sometimes you just feel yucky and want nothing more than to snuggle and rest with your hunny? I've had one of those days weeks. I just wish David was here. I went to Wal-Mart tonight because I was bored out of my mind and couldn't just sit at home tonight without doing something productive. So I tried to go find some supplies for a few of the projects I've been wanting to work on. I couldn't find a single thing I needed, so I left frustrated. On the way to my car, I saw this cute couple all bundled up in their coats and scarves holding hands as they walked into the store. I almost started crying. Uh, seriously?! Ridiculous, I know. I don't even know what it was - I think just that I don't feel good, I'm worn out, and I just miss my fiance! The terrible thing is when I'm in moods like this, I take it out on David. So I get snippy and, actually, downright rude sometimes when he's done nothing wrong. Sometimes he'll get frustrated with me, which just makes it worse (although I brought it upon myself!). But usually, he'll just try to reassure me that everything will get better and that we'll be together again soon. Because he's patient and amazing and so stinkin cute.

Photo by FSIL, editing by me

It's times like these that I question why I ever chose to leave our hometown and go to KU almost 2 and a half years ago now. But I know I shouldn't do that because I realize (when I'm thinking rationally) that, aside from the great program I'm in (the main reason I came here), being in a long distance relationship has been so good for us. We dated all through high school, so by the time we graduated, we were spending almost all of our time together. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be spending all my time with him now, but at that point in our lives it was necessary that we were able to find ourselves and grow up on our own a little. We've definitely matured as individuals, but I had no idea how much deeper and more meaningful it would make our relationship. We don't take anything for granted now, especially the time we spend together. And our communication skills have improved dramaically. I know that's something that will be a huge benefit in our marriage.

Photo and editing by FSIL

With just one more semester left after this one, we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'll graduate and move back to our hometown (where my parents and David are) in May, and we'll be married less than a month later! Then we'll not only be able to see each other everyday, we'll also finally be LIVING together! Everytime I think about the fact that I'll get to wake up next to him for the rest of my life, I have a huge smile on my face. I am soo so excited to be his wife, and when I'm honest with myself, I'm soo so thankful for the knowledge, maturity, and perspective we now have because we've been in a long distance relationship. So maybe they don't completely suck, but they're definitely not fun!

For those of you in long distance relationships, do you have nights like this? (Please tell me I'm not the only one!) Are you thankful for what you've learned from your LDR? Do you agree that there are benefits that will be helpful for marriage?


  1. I couldn't agree with you more. There are a lot of benefits to being long distance for a period of time. Not that it doesn't also suck at the same time. As a couple over the long distance hump (we did it for 5 yrs) I can honestly say that we both benefitted from it. Not just as individuals but also as a couple. One of the questions we've been getting a lot is if things are going smoothly since living together. While it's only been a few months, things have been great. Most people are surprised by our answer. They probe further informing us about how when two people first live together there can be tension, invasion of personal space and what not. We honestly haven't faced this. I think it's because we are both so happy to finally be in the same place enjoying everyday life, that whatever those small compromises are, we make them without a second thought. Cause at the end of the day, those things aren't important at all. What is important us that we each want the other to be happy, and for us to be happy together.
    I know there are tough days, especially as the light at the end of the tunnel becomes brighter. Hang in there. It will all be the way you want it in no time!

  2. Yes, I have so been there! We did New York to Miami for over 2 years and it was brutal...Granted, it was before we got engaged but still, UGH! I'm so sorry you're having a rough week, just keep focused on graduation and the wedding, we're just about 7 months out!
    PS- We're date twins :)

  3. You are most definitely NOT the only one, I had a rough week like that a few weeks ago. You're totally right about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...this semester is almost over, and your last semester flies by (I know mine did, between an internship, work, classes, and a Capstone project). I actually just wrote a post about this but I haven't put it up yet...I've been so down lately and the evenings have been so tough, that I started helping out with the high school play. It's keeping me busy and I have something positive to focus on. Have you thought about starting a book club or volunteering somewhere to fill up some of your spare time?

    Hang in there, because it sounds like you've learned a lot and it will be over before you know it!

  4. Ahh Laura I just had to comment on this!

    I feel exactly the same way! I hate the long distance thing sooo much most of the time, but really I know its been such a blessing for us to grow as individuals,and be able to appreciate each other because of it. Jeff and I have definitely come a long way in our communication skills, and we never take our time together for granted.

    But yeah...there are definitely those days where you just feel a little lonely and jealous of all the couples that see each other on a daily basis and you just get a little bit mad at the world even though you know youre being irrational. Yeah, been there. Done that.

    But, I'll be happy happy happy when he comes back to Houston in December! I keep telling him I'll probably be in complete and total bliss at least for a few months. :)

  5. Sweet girl,
    You know you can always call home, too! When I was first engaged (first husband), my fiance was sent to VietNam for a year. No phone calls, no computer, only letters written EVERY day on my part, which sometimes took a week or more to be received. One week in Hawaii together was all we had to see each other. I'm not trying to minimize your feelings, just to say I'm so glad you are able to stay so closely in touch. And believe me, I know how busy you are with Cru and work! Remember, too, Christmas will be here before you know it! Love You!

  6. Thanks for all the comments, girls! I knew I wasn't in this alone.

    @ rungirl - Yay! Just over 7 months to go! Can you believe it?!

    @ Momma - I know.. You're right. I even meant to put that in there - I have it WAY easier than girls with fiances in the military. Love you!

  7. Awh, Laura I just want to give you a hug! I know it's hard, and at one point I was going through the same thing and I know how it feels. When I would come home from a long weekend at Jon's I would just cry right before I left that I didn't want to go home. We were lucky though that our distance was a 40 minute drive, but you can't do that every night due to the mountains and stuff so it was just on the weekends we saw each other. It still hurt! The months are going to fly and before you know it, it'll all be over and the fun will begin! ::hugs::

    Wrapped in Happiness:

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